Healing Old Wounds
“Instead of saying, "I'm damaged, I'm broken, I have trust issues" say "I'm healing, I'm rediscovering myself, I'm starting over.” ― Horacio Jones
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Are you still feeling anger and pain when you think about your past relationships?
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Try to look at your past relationships from today's perspective. I don't want you to dwell in your past with frustration. On the contrary, I suggest you that healing your past. Try to change your focus from heartbreaks and pains to learned lessons from your ex-relationship. For example, think about one of your past relationships which ended badly. You might dream about being loved unconditionally. Maybe you hoped to find the one, your true soulmate to live happily ever after. However, you found yourself with disappointment and a broken heart.
Probably, the universe planned something else for your good. Usually, we don't see the lessons while we are suffering between a broken heart and crumbled dreams. Sometimes we own a victim role eagerly and swear to our
fate with agony. To be able to calm down and move forward might take weeks, months, or sometimes years. Eventually, we calm down and move on. However, the important thing is moving on as a wiser person than before. It is only possible if we learn the lesson while we are seeing our past experiences objectively. Otherwise, we repeat the same mistakes and get the same results over and over again.
Here are some steps to take for healing your past and learning your lesson after a heartbreak.
1. Accept your ex-partner as a regular human other than a knight with shiny armor or a damsel in distress. What does that mean? He or she is only a human who makes mistakes, has some insecurities, and carries old wounds from childhood and past relationships. No one is perfect. Also, don't blame your ex for being a villain. No one is trying to hurt you consciously and willingly unless they are not a psychopath.
2. Do not be eager to play a victim role. Wallowing in self-pity doesn't help you at all. Instead, accept yourself as you are from the point of an objective view. I mean that you are not perfect, and you don't need to be perfect. You are a human as we are. Accept your mistakes and try to find out their root reasons. You can only heal yourself after you be able to honest with yourself.
3. Know yourself better. The best way to know yourself is possible by diligently observing yourself. Learn your likes, dislikes, limiting beliefs, automatic reactions, defensive thoughts, and assumptions. Accepting your likes and dislikes will help you to set your boundaries. Also, removing your limiting beliefs and defensive thoughts will help you to increase your self-confidence. Working on your false assumptions and automatic reactions gives you clues about your thinking pattern. Changing your thinking pattern in the right way will help you to communicate better.
To sum up, if you want to build healthier relationships, it is time to start to heal your past heartbreaks. Shift your focus from old wounds to life lessons you can take. Blaming others or yourself won't change anything into better. Instead, working on ownself to be able to better version of yourself will heal your past and present. Improving yourself will help you to set healthy boundaries in every relationship. Therefore, don't waste your time to find an excuse on behalf of others or change them into someone else. Use your time to invest in yourself for better decisions.
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Love & many blessings,
The Love Breeze